New Year, Old Haunts…

With 2015 around the corner I’m feeling the need to change in the air. I think it happens to everyone. So many will jump on the resolution bandwagon. Some will try to lose weight, others will start working on that ever-growing bucket list, but whatever the resolution is, it will begin January 1 and in many unfortunate cases end before spring time.

I am no different in making resolutions. Many of my past ones weren’t goals that I hadn’t already determined to do. Like past years, my vow isn’t to lose weight and my bucket list is a bit out of my range of concerns at the moment. What I will be working on is my health. I need to make more progress to getting treatment for my Fibromyalgia.

Why 2015? Well until recently I didn’t have health insurance. I couldn’t afford to go to the doctor. I want to do something because as it stands, my day to day is a slow drag just simply trying to make it. In case you aren’t aware, here is a quick picture of the day to day things I and those like me suffer through:

Fibro symptomsI have 18 of those symptoms that I deal with on a routine basis. The thing that frustrates me the most is the fatigue and what is known as the brain fog. It messes with my memory and frankly pisses me off.

What I don’t share with my family and friends is the fear that eats at me. I am 30 years old. What will my life look like when I’m 40, 50, and 60? How much mobility will I lose over the coming years? I already can’t squat more than 45 degrees. As someone who likes to do things for myself, it really does scare me.


Thanks to Shanabo L. for sharing this picture.

I will say that–in regards to the picture above–I’ve never been one for housework. However, it really sucks when taking a shower causes pain, that no matter what position or surface you sleep on, you can’t fall asleep or wake up without being in pain. I’ve woken up three times in the past week because of stabbing pain in my feet or a shock to my hips.

Still, most people don’t know that I have to deal with this on a daily basis.There are many things that I suffer through simply because I know at some point I know that the people offering their help now will be NEEDED in the future. I want to avoid caregiver-fatigue.

My resolution for 2015 is to find a treatment regimen that doesn’t involve anti-depressants. I have a depressive personality, anti-depressants make me  more depressed and suicidal. I need something for the pain and fatigue, which I hope to find through a competent doctor not hell bent on shoving his/her prescription pad down my throat.

Now that you are aware of my resolution, what do you plan on tackling in the new year?


Published by Kelsey Jordan, author

Kelsey Jordan is the author of the Gardinian World Novels. She is a collector of back packs, pens, and an unseemly amount of paper. When she isn’t working on the series, you can usually find her scrawling on something, playing video games, or taking glorious naps.

2 thoughts on “New Year, Old Haunts…

  1. Hiya! Have you looked into amino acids to help your depression? I have fibromyalgia too and was taking cymbalta for that and depression and just getting worse instead of better so I weaned myself off using amino acids. Basically, neurotransmitters are made from them. I stumbled on a website based on a book called The Mood Cure. I bought the book too…..but the website has “quizzes’ that help you identify which neurotransmitters you need help with which helps you identify which amino acids you need. I have blogged about it too. I have no connections to the website so I’m not trying to sell you anything, its just it has made such a huge difference to my life, when I saw your post on my reader, I thought I ought to point you towards it. I researched for hours before I found out someone had written a book about it lol

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: