or so it seemed.
CW: depression, disordered eating, disability
Yeah, yeah. I know. I haven’t written here in what seems like a small eternity. I can’t say that things look great on the horizon as far as consistency is concerned, but I can give an update of sorts.
Last year was bananas wasn’t it? A pandemic? Not that we here in the United States have done what is needed to get anywhere near being able to sit at the table with other functional countries (adults). It’s like we just started round two. The only good sign is that there are vaccines on the market. Of course, in true Fumbletrumpskin style, the ball has been drop-kicked into hell regarding the vaccine distribution rollout. We have a huge uphill battle to get back on track with everything. Everything. *gestures wildly*
Congrats, Biden. It’s a dumpster fire!
Disabled. Yeah. That’s my life now. I have fought with the label because frankly, I didn’t want to let go of my abled life. I didn’t want to fully embrace the sudden way my life changed six years ago. It doesn’t help that I’m not visibly disabled, but alas, I am still not as able-bodied as I would like to imagine myself.
This new reality has meant a lot of adjustment for me. It has led to a type of disordered eating that is solely based on the fact that I do not trust food not to make me ill. It’s one thing that I realized recently that I need to actually address because it turns into other health problems.
It’s not all bad though. I am currently in my last semester of undergrad. Yes, on the older side, but I will be walking (or hobbling) if my body allows across that stage come May/June (date TBA). This journey has been a long time coming and interrupted by various life setbacks and hurdles. As some may know, that final semester is busy, busy, busy.
I made it a point to get something done for myself over the last 3 years. My health (or lack thereof) robbed me of my job, independence, hobbies, and small joys. I needed something to claim and school has been it. There have been rough patches in there, but I’m making it.
Before I move on, let me take a break and praise therapy and my therapist. In the last year or so, I have made a mental shift that I can’t credit to anything else, but therapy. It has made me kinder to myself than I have even been. I’m readily able to give grace/kindness/compassion to others. But me…hooo boy. I will drag me for filth in a way that borders on cruel. Changing the way I “talk” to and about myself has helped shift some things that I have struggled with for years. It makes the way I deal with my physical ailments more bearable.
For the most part, writing has been pushed so far to the back that it seemed like it fell right off the edge into an abyss I would never find it. Truth is, I couldn’t write. I was in a downward spiral healthwise. I felt like I was dying and no one had the courage to tell me.
I’m not dying. That was the depression talking. And while things have progressed on the health front. I’m still trying to figure out how to live this newish life I have while putting out the small fires cropping up [seemingly] left and right.
I haven’t really written much in the last three years, but I did manage to finish Call of the Harbinger (remember that old thing?) and start two new ones: Legacy Restored and Tidy.
Call of the Harbinger will be released October 31, 2021 on Lykil’s birthday. Don’t ask me how old he is. I can’t count that high and he thinks it’s rude I even asked. I’ll do the author stuff (pre-orders and all that jazz) later on this year.
Legacy Restored takes place two years after the end of Call of the Harbinger. In the War Guardian trilogy (I’m determined it be a trilogy), we spend more time with the Hunters and see where their respective legacies have taken them. Love is the name of the game, but what will it cost them to have it for whatever time they have remaining on this war-torn Earth?
Tidy is a departure from the Gardinian world and romance altogether.
Sarah is my first foray into thrillers with her playing the role of a serial killer in a Brooksville, GA (fictional of course) with a mission to restore order to a disordered world. Tidy is the first book in the Guild of Gallows series. This is a research heavy book for me, which isn’t an entirely new aspect of writing for me. This research just requires a bit more accuracy as I can’t play to crazy with reality.
I have three other titles outlined in this (Guild of Gallows) series, but outlines don’t guarantee I love it enough to publish. I don’t know if these Legacy Restored and Tidy will get finished this year, but they are on the docket.
I know that if I am famous for anything, it is for my long absences. I struggle with being overly transparent here because, I feel like, honestly, my life is boring. My life may be a lot of doctor’s appointments, but there are things that I do that aren’t boring. So I will share those things. Not likely here, because I know I don’t want a daily blog from me. If I don’t want it, I couldn’t imagine anyone else wanting it.
And because I don’t have enough to keep me busy, I am trying to get my business (seperate from writing) off the ground. Yeah, I’m just dropping that as a parting comment. I don’t have more details because it’s too new to have much to say about it.
2021 is already busy, busy, busy. Here’s to good things.
Yeah, that’s me.