For the Love of Destruction

ImageI am in love and lust with the male who is in my home. My temple walls seem to relish in his presence, as if they too miss the sound of his voice sliding along their jagged surfaces.Lust becomes me. No, not my bitch of a sister, but the sensual hunger that is the marker of Nolf’s domain.

Anger rises in my chest at the memory of her sampling what was once rightfully mine, but I can’t deny her good taste, not when the hunger for the male standing at my altar threatens to consume me. Not even the general comfort that I have with War compares to the need I feel to be the object of Destruction’s love once again. Gods I want him like I want no other.

Lykil’s bare back is to me, the muscles moving slowly as he takes in slow, calming breaths.

Memories of our couplings assault me. I remember the feel of those very same muscles bunching under my fingers as he took all I had to give. I want to feel him again, to know the power of Destruction’s body when he gives himself fully to me.

He turns to me, his eyes narrowed, chaos and anger dancing in his gaze. He doesn’t want to be here, not that I expected any different. No amount of time-and we’d had plenty of it-could wash away the burning misery I’d caused when I destroyed his love in favor of War. Tuyir’s temporary solution to the heartache Lykil formed in my heart was the reason Destruction had no use for my love. We’d ruined each other, but I was the only one still Longing.

Afri

My thoughts have so consumed me that I miss what he says. He rolls his eyes, his obvious hatred washing away the remnants of my lust and drawing me from my memories.

“You’ve been ignoring Nivar’s summons.” The irritation in his tone is palpable.

I blink and try to break my stare, but it’s hard to concentrate on anything beyond the emblem of his domain marking his forearm. I wanted his mark on me. I needed to have the design marking me as his and would do whatever I could to possess it. One day Lykil will know Love again.

“Do you plan on staring at me all day or are you going to answer Nivar’s summons?”

“What does he want?”

“You.”

“Oh.” I frown. Nivar knows how Lykil feels about me. “Why didn’t he send Tuyir?”

“Trust me, Love,” he says with a growl much like those of the Lycans he loves so much, “I would rather my brother be here, but apparently he had something better to do.”

I nod and turn away. I can’t look at him anymore. His brutal anger is an agonizing weight. It stifles the air and makes it harder to take the unnecessary breathes that I draw.

“Answer Nivar’s summons. You won’t like it if I have to come back.” With that he leaves, my temple thoroughly tainted with his animosity.

His hatred would be so much easier to bear if I could hate him too. I should. I have every right. He’d had sex with my sister first, taken her in a way that he’d once reserved only for me. Heartache was my guide as I enacted a revenge far worse than the deserved punishment for Lykil’s offense to my love for him. I can’t deny the damage I’d caused by forcing him to watch as I tainted his temple with my passionate cries for his brother’s erotic touch.

Still, I am in love with Destruction. One day I hope he understands how much of me has always been his.

Emblem of Afri, goddess of Love
Emblem of Afri, goddess of Love

Trust me, I’m a liar.

I am a fiction writer, therefore I am a liar. I spin fantastical tales based on myth and legend. every once in a while a grain of truth and history slips into the folds of my story, but most of what I do is a lie of the best kind.

I love to lie and I’m good at it.decorative-lines-17_large2

You have to understand that a good lie is based on some truth. The more truth, the more believable the lie. At least that’s what they say, they being the nefarious people of the interwebs and world who teach you how to tell an effective lie.

Crazy Talkdecorative-lines-17_large2

Let’s take a short conversational detour. A little background on me. I’m a psych major, therefore I like crazy, non-conformist, and eccentric individuals. If the voices that live in my head are any indication, I might need to get therapy, not study it, but I digress. Today in my Theories of Counseling and Psychobabble we spoke about the importance of being authentic. How being important it is as a counselor to be yourself. There were more words said, but that’s why I use my Notability app, because my thoughts immediately turned to writing and the importance of being authentic.
To me, the best way to be authentic is to tell the truth, to be honest about yourself, your capabilities and limitations. The less you hide from yourself (and others) is the most honest you can be. In that honesty you will find your authenticity, because you’ll know you. The good, bad, ugly and fan-freaking-tastic. There’s nothing more I want than to be authentic.

Pssh…You’re a liar.decorative-lines-17_large2

The fact that I’m a liar is besides the point. At least I’m honest about it. See? Upside.

Seriously though, it’s part of my job. I’m supposed to lie to you, to convince you that a world of shifters-known as Lycans-actually exists. My craft-if done right-should make you believe that Gardas is the world where the gods call home and that there really is a tree-Liflasir-that holds four worlds within its branches. That’s my job and I’m being honest. It’s the best reason I can think of to be a liar.

Now tell the truth. Do you trust me?

 

Re-releasing The Lycan Hunter. Why I think I will…

Announcement
Booktrope, my awesomesauce publisher, has welcomed me into their folds. I’m truly grateful for the opportunity.

So this thing happened. Or rather I made some minor moves and then this thing happened.

Kelsey Jordan’s Once Upon A Time…

Some of you know that I decided on self-publishing for many reasons, one of them being the control factor. Among the sea of other Indie authors, I know I’m not alone in relishing that sense of control. It’s one of the reasons why, after looking over their publishing model, I decided to dip my toe into Booktrope’s  swimming pool. Turns out, I like the temp. Feels real nice.

How I Met My Publisherdecorative-lines-17_large2

I stumbled onto Booktrope by chance due to stumbling across one of their authors (Hey, @AJAalto!) through one of the many book blogs I follow on Facebook. After reading Touched, which I loved, I chose to check her publisher out, because, really, what did I have to lose? I liked what I saw and made contact.

Nothing happens overnight and I’m way too intolerant to wait. So, instead of sitting around while people pestered lovingly prodded me for The Lycan Hunter’s release, I formatted my little heart out. Of course I cursed to the moon and back, raged that I was so over it. I quit. Oh I quit many times only to start formatting again the next day. Then one bright, sunny day (I can’t confirm it was bright or sunny) I was done. I cast off my formatting shackles and finally pressed publish.

I won’t lie I was anxious and excited to put my baby out there in the sea of books. I won’t talk about my misadventures or the lessons learned. There were many, not that there weren’t any successes either. Still, despite my triumphs and stumbling blocks, I’ll cherish every lesson I learned.

Live, learn, and publish. decorative-lines-17_large2

Getting the word that someone is interested in your work is a unique experience.

I was sitting on the floor of my kitchen talking to my hubby as he washed dishes (sexy right?). During a short lull in the conversation, I decided to check my email. I work from home and my phone (and email) are necessary for what I do. What do I find? Yes! The email that I didn’t know I should be expecting showed up and caused a light misting to happen in my eyes. I’m not a crier. I came close, but I pulled it together 🙂 I may or may not have held my phone like a newborn infant and cooed at my email. Needless to say, I’m happy to find myself with Booktrope.

Future Workdecorative-lines-17_large2

Now for those concerned about First of Spring, it’s still coming. I’m in the editing phase as we speak. I also haven’t forgotten about my anthology either. Ah the books, they come to me and will make it to you. I promise.

I’ll keep you posted on all the re-release info as it comes along. Thank you for your continued support! 2014 couldn’t have gotten off to a better start!

She’s so strong.

ImageYou read it all the time. Fictional character “Conquering Cathy” is strong because of x-y-z. She’s strong because of this, because she has had to endure that, because, because, because…

Funny thing is half of the time I’m not buying it. An author telling me a character is strong is almost a guaranteed way for me to disregard what they say. Show me that this characterization is true. Not that it should matter.

Being able to persevere in the face of any adversity is a great trait. The last thing I want to see is a bundle of nerves in human (or whatever physical makeup the character has) constantly wailing at the injustices of their world, but never doing anything to change it. I take greater offense to those same “wailing-Wandas” who say “I’m strong”. No, no you’re not. Stop saying that.

Now, I can get into the same boat as other authors who ask the question (a valid one) as to why female characters need to be classified as “strong” when their male counterparts do not. I wonder that myself and I try not to write so-called “strong” female characters, nor do I focus on writing “strong” male characters. I just write characters.

I want my characters to struggle, flounder in their seemingly ineptitude and persevere over the obstacles I’ve haphazardly strategically placed in their lives.  Notice I said characters, which naturally includes my males. Also, males cry…Perish the thought. Yes I’ve written alpha males who aren’t so barbaric as to have real emotions and be secure and “manly” enough to share them. Still I refuse to believe that makes my male characters “strong”. It just makes them–dare I say it?–real.

Real people struggle. Real people fail and real people triumph. That is the notion of people in our real world. It is my responsibility as an author to write real people, even if they come with kickass powers and live on fictional planets. Their realness makes them relatable which directly plays into their believability. And there is nothing more important to me than you believing (and loving) the words I strategically  haphazardly place on the page. Fiction is my grand lie, but all good lies are based on the truth, right? What better truth than to base it on the nature of people.

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I have another giveaway going on for you guys! Check out Kelsey Jordan’s 200 Like Giveaway!